The Olympics of gay Singing

via Sam Brondfield, MD, MAEd–

(Editor's note: Ka Lau and his accomplice Cameron Gerhold signed consent forms to have their names used listed here.)

dear Ka,

I miss you, my friend.

We met within the medical institution during my first week attending on the USA inpatient oncology carrier. You had been 28, not plenty more youthful than I, and also you had a cough that wouldn't go away. The cause turned into a big tumor to your chest with a small number of lung metastases.

You delivered yourself: "I'm a singer in the San Francisco homosexual guys's chorus."

"No means!" I exclaimed. "I'm planning to audition for them next week."

You smiled and explained how crucial the chorus became to you. I asked a number of greater chorus-linked questions before guidance the conversation again to your health.

I informed you that we'd start chemotherapy right away since the cancer became pushing on your coronary heart. I defined that for this category of tumor, a combined germ cell tumor with a huge teratoma part, you possibly can eventually want surgical procedure. You smiled and talked about you relied on me.

One week later, you had entire the first dose of chemotherapy. I entered your health center room for my every day seek advice from and saw you struggling to breathe because the tumor persisted to encroach for your heart. I adopted you to the ICU, where nurses and respiratory therapists raced to save your life.

That nighttime, before you have been intubated, you squeezed my hand and wished me success within the chorus audition. I contemplated the situational irony. You might now not live on to rejoin the refrain you cherished, and your oncologist changed into auditioning to be a part of the same neighborhood.

Sitting within the audition, I felt despondent. I puzzled if the 300 refrain participants knew what was going on to you. however I did not ask yourself lengthy. The refrain president soon stood up in front of the room and, weeping, described your circumstance. Contagious sobs all the way through the room coalesced right into a wave of affection that I hoped would wash over you.

With assist from your refrain family and the ICU group, your circumstance stabilized. "I heard you bought into the refrain!" you exclaimed in the event you have been capable of talk once more. "Yep, and that i'm hoping you'll join us soon," I answered. but despite more chemotherapy, scans showed tumor increase.

The subsequent step turned into an advanced surgical procedure, for which you needed to fly to ny. Your dedicated companion, Cameron, called me afterwards. The tumor become out! The lung metastases would require a second surgical procedure after greater chemotherapy, however I breathed a sigh of relief. treatment changed into still possible.

After returning to San Francisco, you and Cameron took me to your favorite restaurant in the Castro. "How's your recovery going?" I requested. "I'm getting more desirable every day," you replied. You hoped to rejoin the refrain in time for the upcoming (homosexual and Lesbian affiliation of Choruses) GALA competition, a global gathering of LGBTQIA+ choruses taking place every 4 years that some referred to as "the Olympics of homosexual singing." I hoped to adventure these Olympics alongside you.

again within the health facility, we embraced. Your scans showed handiest slight growth in the lung metastases. It was time for the ultimate dose of chemotherapy. "Let's do it," you noted. All become going in accordance with plan.

it really is, until the subsequent set of scans showed accelerated boom. Your liver changed into now speckled with melanoma, and a tumor became turning out to be inner your heart. A liver biopsy demonstrated sarcoma, a feared transformation of germ mobilephone tumors. As I reviewed the biopsy result, I slumped at my desktop. treatment was not possible.

You otherwise could have made it to the Olympics of homosexual singing, but the COVID-19 pandemic cruelly postponed the GALA competition past your reach. When the melanoma marched on despite our top-rated efforts, you flew to Hawaii to spend the remaining weeks of your life surrounded by family unit and pals. The last time we spoke, you called to sing me "chuffed Birthday."

from time to time cases push the medical professional-patient relationship past the normal boundaries. You had been my affected person, my buddy, and my "refrain brother." As I grieve, I take consolation knowing that a neighborhood of homosexual singers, one that I now share, will keep you in their hearts. i will be able to always remember your smile and your pleasing voice.

My associate and i visited Hawaii quickly after what would had been your 30th birthday. We took Cameron, who nonetheless lives there, out for dinner and dancing. We laughed, cried, and reminisced. you could possibly have adored it.

We discussed how the refrain navigated the pandemic by way of posting video performances, a few of which obtained homophobic feedback these days. Your resilience within the face of disorder inspired the chorus, and me, to circulate forward with love despite online hate. you could possibly have been proud.

When the Olympics of homosexual singing at last occurs, I'll think about you standing next to me, the place you belong, singing your heart out.

Love,Sam

Sam Brondfield, MD, MAEd, is a health center-based mostly oncologist on the college of California, San Francisco and a member of the San Francisco homosexual men's refrain.

published on September 23, 2021